Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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