wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
