nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
