: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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