He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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