yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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