so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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