Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
