What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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