I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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