New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
