Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
