I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
