I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
