the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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