I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
