i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
