How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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