Did you just see the Batmobile???
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
