Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
