He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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