i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
