Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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