Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
