and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
