woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize