Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
