I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
