well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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