i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
