Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
