I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize