so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
