I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
