We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
