I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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