I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
