Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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