we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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