Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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