She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
