That's intense
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
