would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I could make wine with my vomit
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Come on in and take your pants off
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