Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
