oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
soo... how was my night?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
