he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
