DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
