Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
