i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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