Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
