Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
