ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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