There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
