did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
