You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
