I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
