Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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