Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize