Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
