Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Never underestimate the power of titties
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
