You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
