i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
