The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
