also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
