I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize