remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
