Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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