I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
